8 April 2016 by romanin
When we met them, J and J had just arrived in America and were struggling through their fresh first year of marriage. Quarrels, silent nights, cold shoulders, and fake smiles had all been far too present in that first year, they later shared with us. Boy J’s first interaction with Nick was asking Nick to be a business partner.
Girl J was here for her post-doc and Boy J was here to accompany her and experience more of the world.
Back home, Boy J’s life revolved around making money. Security and significance were sought after hard, through money and success. He ran a business and stress was his best friend.
Girl J had been a student throughout their dating relationship and first year of marriage. Living in a completely different world than Boy J, she made efforts to provide emotional encouragement and help when possible but were brushed aside most times because her emotional support wouldn’t help solve any practical, real problems.
This awkward, dysfunctional relationship continued, grinding away at J and J.
Girl J has said a few times, that during this difficult year, Boy J’s smiles were often a facade and only those who knew him better knew that they were fake smiles.
If you met J and J today, you would take them to be the most carefree people you’d ever met! Smiling and laughing often, engaged in relationships with the community around them, one would never guess that stress and marital discord were once a big part of their lives.
Upon their arrival they were connected with the local Chinese church in West Lafayette. Touched by the compassion and kindness of the church body, J and J returned to church regularly. They did not know everything about God, but knew that what these brothers and sisters had was what they wanted.
Out of faith, they made a testimony of belief in Christ. A few months later on Thanksgiving day, they were baptized!
From Thanksgiving until now, their marriage has made a u-turn. They have both said that God saved their marriage by changing them, turning them outward instead of inward to themselves all the time.
Boy J’s business has turned into a business of sharing Christ with his family and those he loves. Girl J’s studies have now different purpose. J and J have now eternal security and significance.
“No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.” Matthew 6:24
Pray for J and J, that they would have a continued growth and understanding of what security and significance in God looks and feels like, and that God would use the mightily for advancing His kingdom.